Sunday, October 18, 2009

Gorgeous grilled vegetable sandwich: Vegan MoFo #9

This will be a quick post as the photo speaks for itself. Had a lovely brunch with my 2 lovely cousins, Miren and Monica, and my brother's girlfriend, Bea at Cafe Mary Grace in Alabang Town Center. We came for the chica session but I gotta say, this vegetable sandwich somehow stole the show.

Hey vegans! Cafe Mary Grace may not have a lot of vegetarian breakfast / brunch options but don't feel sad. Grilled vegetables on foccacia was some kind of awesome. It's usually served with caesar dressing inside but tell your server to kindly substitute the dressing with the tomato-wansoy salsa. The salsa is actually one of the fillings of one of their omni sandwiches. If your server doesn't seem to relent, just ask for Glen - he was our server who was only too happy to follow my vegan wishes.

The homemade potato chips is usually served with garlic mayo -- go ahead and sub it for the salsa, but do yourself a favor and just get good old-fashioned ketchup. It's hard to scoop salsa with tiny chips.

What made this sandwich gorgeous? Uber-smoky eggplant and balsamic-glazed oyster mushrooms. Cafe Mary Grace usually adds in grilled zucchini but with the whole Typhoon Pepeng catastrophe, it's been difficult to get fresh vegetables from Benguet. They ended up doubling the eggplant -- no complaints from this customer! I heart eggplant, I can eat it all day.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

For vegans who miss puchero: Vegan MoFo #8

Holy crapparoni, I’ve missed 2 days of MoFo’ing. I gotta get my ass into shape…

What I’d like to share today is a vegan version of another childhood favorite: puchero.

I think this dish is something every Filipino family has its own version of. Puchero actually came from Mexican and South American cuisine. It arrived in the Philippines via Spain and I guess, puchero is one good thing we can thank our colonizers / slavemasters of 300 years for.

Puchero, Spanish for “stewpot”, comes from Argentina, Uruguay, and Spain. According to Wikipedia, the
preparation and ingredients of the dish vary by region. Spain particularly likes chickpeas while Argentina and Uruguay like theirs meat-based. Puchero is usually made up of a soup of meat and vegetables.

Here in the Philippines we use chicken, beef, cabbage, baguio pechay / Chinese cabbage, and potatoes. We also like having boiled saba / cooking bananas served on the side. For families who can trace their roots to Spain (fun trivia, on my paternal grandfather’s side we get our Spanish blood from a friar), we like adding chorizo / pork sausage and chickpeas. I believe puchero is usually eaten as a hearty soup but for those with Spanish influences, we like ours soup on the side, meat and veggies served separately, and with rice.

I fondly remember the Sunday puchero tradition upheld in my family. We usually chop up the meat and veggies and mix it with rice, tomato sauce, olive oil, and vinegar in a huge wooden bowl. Each of us had an assignment, whether it’s chopping the meat, or the veggies, or pouring the sauce. My dad usually added the final touch, whether it was a splash of vinegar or a dash of salt. It was a family affair and it was so satisfying to sit down and eat the fruits of our labor.

When my brother Michael and I turned vegan, we no longer joined in this tradition. We missed the family food preparation. When everyone else
would enjoy the puchero, we would have some completely different vegan meal.

Last Sunday we had puchero for lunch and for the first time we were able to enjoy a ve
gan puchero! It felt completely familiar at once and incredibly satisfying to eat. We missed our puchero. For our version we cooked our vegetables (cabbage and baguio pechay) and saba bananas in gently boiling water until tender. Chickpeas, usually an afterthought, became one of the main stars of the dish. We cooked ours in garlic, onions, tomatoes, salt and pepper.

And I confess, I missed chorizo – or rather, the smoky saltiness it imparts. Luckily I had a stash of homemade vegan chorizo (off Isa’s Vegan Brunch cookbook) in the freezer. I threw in a couple of chorizos in a sautee pan with about 1 inch of water and simmered them until tender. I then sliced the sausages in half, and then in quarters diagonally. So as not to throw out the now flavorful cooking liquid, I sautéed some sliced onions in it with a splash of olive oil until tender. After setting the onions aside, I added another glug of olive oil in the same pan and fried up the chorizos.

Eating puchero after years of no puchero was… nothing short of amazing. We didn’t have the time to slice up the chorizo and veggies and mix it up with chickpeas, rice, tomato sauce, olive oil and vinegar like our family usually does but it was rewarding just the same. I got bits of everything and couldn’t even fit rice onto my plate.

If you come from a family that regularly eats a meat-based puchero – you can have your puchero veganified! So to summarize:
  1. Cook vegetables and saba bananas separately from the meat.
  2. Gussy up your chickpeas – cook them with garlic, onions, and tomatoes.
  3. Fry up your favorite vegan chorizo, either store bought or homemade. Check out Julie’s Spicy Italian Sausages, they’re a good substitute.
  4. The puchero seasonings – tomato sauce (cooked with garlic and onions), olive oil, and vinegar – are already naturally vegan!
  5. Mix everything together and dig in!

Monday, October 12, 2009

String beans that will make you sing: Vegan MoFo #7

You've probably grown up having your own fair share of sucky vegetables. You know what I'm talking about -- vegetables steamed, blanched or boiled to flavorless oblivion, sometimes sauteed in grease and some bits of animal protein, often discolored from too much cooking. Blech.

The humble string bean (here at home, known as the Baguio Bean) is almost always the sad victim of under- or overcooking. I quite frankly detest steamed or blanched string beans because they're just so... boring. Eating blanched string beans feels like a chore. This is why omnivores are omninivores and not herbivores.

I love string beans, they're one of my favorite vegetables. They're dirt cheap and easy to cook so they taste awesome. And and and, if you've got a party and want to serve your guests a non-salad vegetable, string beans are the way to go.

Beans before being stuck in the oven, and they already look lovely.

My favorite way to cook beans? Roast 'em. Lay them on one layer on a baking sheet, brush with olive oil, sprinkle on a good dose of sea salt and black pepper, that's it. No need for some fancy spice blend, leave that for carrots and potatoes. Pure heaven. I can eat these all day.

They usually cook for 20 minutes in a 400 deg F oven, but I like mine quite toasty so I leave them in for an extra 10 minutes. Heck, just eyeball it. Just make sure they don't turn too yellow-green.

Definitely make them garlicky by topping the beans with a smashed garlic / olive oil / salt / pepper mixture before sticking them into the oven. The garlic should be well lubricated in oil so it doesn't burn.

String bean love!

Friday, October 9, 2009

Vegan birthday dinner 2 - a photo essay: Vegan MoFo #6

Best birthday dinner, especially when you didn't have to lift a finger to make it or have to clarify a hundred times that it's vegan.
Thanks mom.

Samosas from Assad's Mini Mart on Jupiter St., Makati

Lumpiang Macau: friend spring rolls stuffed with seasoned shredded tofu,
served with sweet and sour sauce.

Japchae: Korean glass noodles with vegetables topped with toasted sesame seeds,
spring onions, and sauce (sesame oil, soy sauce, ginger, brown sugar)

Fried tofu slabs to go with the Japchae.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

A well-loved dessert from my childhood: Vegan MoFo #5

Oh mais con hielo, how I've missed thee. I haven't tasted your icy corny goodness in years. How I've longed for your juicy kernels, your crunchy shaved ice, your sweet surrender, your ability to cool this humid tropical weather -- but alas, you are almost always served with dairy evaporated milk. For shame, for shame. It's a good thing mother took me literally when I said I wanted you, and only you veganified, for my birthday dessert. No birthday cake for me, heavens no. And you taste just as good, if not better, with coconut milk. You don't need cow's milk to make you all creamy and lovely. You just need a good dose of creamy non-dairy milk and a healthy serving of sugar (and in my case, brown) to sweeten you up.

While I only had you 2 nights ago, I do hope we see each other very, very soon. I can't wait until our next rendezvous.

Vegan birthday lunch with the parents: Vegan MoFo #4

Ugh, it's just one of those days where you bake til 1am and you wanna take a bath but you're too tired to get off the chair...

So yesterday was my official birthday and the parents were nice enough to take me out to lunch in Power Plant Mall in Rockwell. Lucky for me, Power Plant has a few good restaurants with vegan options. One of my favorite restaurants there is Wild Ginger, which I've mentioned before in this post. It's not a fancy schmancy restaurant, it just has a good selection of Filipino, Thai, Malaysian, Indonesian, and Indian food.

First up: fresh Vietnamese spring rolls with spicy peanut sauce. It was good, not great. If only they added purple basil or cilantro inside the roll. The roll contained vermicelli noodles, lettuce, cucumber, and carrot.

Spicy tofu peanut salad. This is one salad that did not suck. Very few leaves, lots of fresh bean sprouts, julienned cucumber and jicama, fried tofu, and cilantro in a spicy peanut dressing.

One of my favorite sandwiches: spinach and dal chapati. This time it came with curry sauce on the side. This is usually served with yogurt sauce, so tell your server you want a coconut milk-based curry sauce.

And, the highlight of my lunch! Back story: I haven't had ice cream since January and I've been dying to get my hands on some. I made the mistake once of ordering a vanilla soy milkshake from Chimara in Greenbelt. People, please don't waste your money on Chimara soy anything, it is not good. This is the kind of stuff omnivores make fun of vegans for. I once tried their strawberry ice cream, blech!

I was told that a certain Italian restaurant named Pazzo served vegan gelato. The sad thing is, Pazzo is right in Power Plant, in the Rockwell Center where I work. And for the 2 years I've been working for my company, not once did I try Pazzo's gelato. I deprived myself of ice cream for 10 months for NOTHING.

Pazzo didn't have vegan gelato yesterday but they did have sorbet, which was naturally vegan, IN A WHOLE ARRAY OF FLAVORS. Strawberry, lychee, watermelon, lemon, limoncello and lovely tropical flavors such as calamansi, guava, and pomelo.

I got to taste pretty much all the available sorbet flavors and I ended up choosing a scoop each of lemon and pomelo. It sure was nice to taste some icy, fruity goodness.

Good lunch :)

Monday, October 5, 2009

Happy Feast Day, Vegans! + a vegan birthday dinner + bodacious birthday apple cobbler: Vegan MoFo #3

Belated Happy World Animal Day, guys!

Hey vegans, it’s our Feast Day too! Yesterday was the feast day of St. Francis of Assisi (1182-1226), the Patron Saint of animals and the environment. Since becoming vegetarian, St. Francis has become my favorite saint; so favorite, I named my third cat after him.

Bear with me for a few paragraphs! I’m lifting this straight from the Catholic Encyclopedia entry on St. Francis. He truly was an amazing person. Omnivores and vegetarians alike could all learn a thing or two from this man:

‘The very animals found in Francis a tender friend and protector; thus we find him pleading with the people of Gubbio to feed the fierce wolf that had ravished their flocks, because through hunger "Brother Wolf" had done this wrong.

‘And the early legends have left us many an idyllic picture of how beasts and birds alike susceptible to the charm of Francis's gentle ways, entered into loving companionship with him; how the hunted leveret sought to attract his notice; how the half-frozen bees crawled towards him in the winter to be fed; how the wild falcon fluttered around him; how the nightingale sang with him in sweetest content in the ilex grove at the Carceri, and how his "little brethren the birds" listened so devoutly to his sermon by the roadside near Bevagna that Francis chided himself for not having thought of preaching to them before [as pictured up there].

‘Francis's love of nature also stands out in bold relief in the world he moved in. He delighted to commune with the wild flowers, the crystal spring, and the friendly fire, and to greet the sun as it rose upon the fair Umbrian vale. In this respect, indeed, St. Francis's "gift of sympathy" seems to have been wider even than St. Paul's, for we find no evidence in the great Apostle of a love for nature or for animals.’

According to legend, on his deathbed St. Francis thanked his donkey for carrying and helping him throughout his life and his donkey wept (okay I got this from Wikipedia).


Anyway, on to MoFo’ing. My birthday comes right after St. Francis’s feast day, I don’t know why I wasn’t named Francesca, or Frances, or Francine, or whatever derivative you can think of. I am not so big on naming my future children after Saints, but Francis I wouldn’t mind :)

I was so set on blogging about the completely vegan dinner I had last night with family in Corner Tree Café (same guys who buy my cupcakes; a vegan-friendly, vegetarian restaurant) but man, I gotta be quick on my toes with the photographing. For appetizers, we had:

This awesome starter plate of fresh vegetable sticks (cucumber, jicama, carrots) “on the rocks”, chunks of crusty wholewheat bread, white bean hummus, olive oil, and dukka – an Egyptian sesame-seed-and-spice blend.

Wholewheat breadsticks with marinated herbed olives. Not a huge olive fan, my family seemed to like it, but I thought it was way overpriced. They gave us only 2 breadsticks.

And an organic green salad with carrots, beets, and walnuts in a lemon-mustard dressing.

I’m not a big fan of sugary drinks (I wouldn’t mind fresh buko juice or calamansi juice) but I ordered this lemongrass iced tea. It was different, a good kind! Lemongrass-y and gingery.

This is where I stopped taking photos because my 18-month old nephew got hold of my camera. We were also pretty much starving and dug in right away when the servers brought out the food.

We also had the tomato and bread soup, which was nice and chunky.

Our entrees include:
  1. North African vegetable stew with couscous. Flavorful, almost curry-like without the coconut milk but not heavy on the tummy at all. Corner Tree used “gentler”, less heavy spices.
  2. Vegetable koftas in tomato sauce. Just like Italian meatballs except the koftas were a bit more tender.
  3. Tofu-walnut burgers topped with crispy onions with a side of gravy. This was a winner for Michael, my vegan brother. Last time I was here I ordered mine in a whole-wheat bun, this time this was served platter-style, with a side of red rice.
  4. Spaghettini with broccoli, pine nuts, and lemon. This dish was flavorful thanks to the lemony goodness.
  5. Kare-kare na gulay. A Filipino peanut stew of vegetables (leafy greens and mushrooms). Omnivores usually eat this with bagoong or fermented shrimp paste. This was served with vegetarian bagoong made from tausi, aka fermented black beans (a typical Chinese condiment). I didn’t get to taste this dish but my dad said it was good.
Corner Tree Cafe (Vegetarian Food)
Francesca Mabanta
150 Jupiter Street Bel-Air, Makati, Metro Manila
(632) 897-0295

NB: They are closed on Mondays.


So this was the second time in a row that I had to make my own birthday dessert, but I didn’t mind! I made a super quickie, seriously thrown-together apple cobbler from The Joy of Vegan Baking. I swear, Colleen Patrick-Goudreau is my hero! I love her piecrust-making methods, I’ll never make pies a different way again.

From start to finish including baking, it took me about an hour and fifteen minutes to make this cobbler – but I had help with the peeling and coring of apples. I was set on making a strawberry cobbler with frozen strawberries but I couldn’t find the right recipe (most needed fresh berries). Luckily I had some Fuji apples so I made an apple cobbler instead.

Er, apologies for the crap photo… someone’s little hands smudged up the camera.

Fruit-based desserts are definitely tastier than any other kind, in my book. I don’t want to brag (well it wasn’t my recipe to begin with) but everyone loved it :) Will definitely make this again, especially since it was a no-brainer. Seriously, please make this.

Colleen’s recipe is super easy to follow, it’s like the apple pie for lazy people or for people who are still iffy in the piecrust-making department. Some notes on apple cobbler-making:
  1. The recipe called for an 8- or 9-inch baking pan but I chose to use an 8x10 glass pan because the cobbler had to serve 14 people.
  2. If you’re doing the 8x10 glass pan, I highly recommend adding an additional half recipe of the cobbler dough just so you get enough spread on top.
  3. The recipe called for 5 cups of tart apples, I used 5 sweet Fuji apples. I’m not a fan of tart fruity desserts, sorry. The apples amounted to more than 5 cups = no problem. No need to adjust the sugar mixture you combine with it.
  4. I’m not a fan of white sugar either. Definitely substitute washed / raw sugar. If you don’t have that on hand, then use a 50-50 mixture of white and brown to ease up on the empty calories.
  5. No margarine? No problem. Use unbleached coconut oil. Coconut oil smells amazing and lends a good round “fatty flavor” to the dough. I can’t explain it better, just that coconut oil is awesome. I bought mine from Tindahang Sakto .
  6. I brought the cobbler from the oven to the restaurant. If you’re transporting a dish that came straight from the oven, I highly recommend you cover the dish with foil and place it on a wooden tray with a thick layer of newspaper for protection. Don’t use a plastic tray! I even added a dish towel between the dish and the newspaper.
Not a bad birthday so far.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

A salad that doesn't suck for vegans: Vegan MoFo #2

Edited to add: I just reread this entry and man oh man did I have a lot of grammatical errors. That's what you get when you blog at 3am...

I know there are vegans out there who
LOOOOOVE their salads. Some eat one at least once a day. Sorry guys, I'm not one of you. Quite frankly I detest salads. If I'm in a very veg-unfriendly restaurant I'm usually served a couple of leaves with tomatoes, onion, and store-bought dressing. I've been vegetarian for almost 2 years now (anniv on October 8, woohoo!) and in that span I've had a couple of really bad salads.

There must be wrong with chefs out there. For some reason they think that vegetarians would be perfectly happy with a salad that was unethusiastically put together. So, no actual edible vegetarian food on menus except for the boring salad. The sad thing is, salads can be lovely to look at and to eat -- no restauranteur wants to invest in them because they'd rather focus on the meat.

Don't get me wrong, there will be times when I would enjoy a salad as long as the salad is interesting. I love my salads with lots of color and lots of vegetables. I'm not a big fan of the leaves but of the concept of a hearty mixture of veggies.

I made this salad back in September but never got around to blog about it. But check out the picture. Now, wouldn't you want to consume it? I've never come across a salad that interesting in this country. If you have, do let me know, I'd want to check the restaurant out.

What a salad should have so it doesn't suck:
  1. Color. Even the salad greens shouldn't be all green. Check out the varieties with purple leaves. Raise your hand if you hate iceburg lettuce. Add reds with tomatoes, orange with carrots, yellow with peppers, purple with eggplant and Thai basil.
  2. Texture. An all leaf salad is just that, all leaves. Add crunch with bell pepers, carrots and jicama, tenderness with roasted eggplant, juiciness with tomatoes.
  3. Flavor. Leaves have a fresh taste, but you can add even more freshness with bell peppers. Any baked vegetable gives it smokiness too, such as roasted peppers or eggplant.
  4. Herbs. They aren't just for sauces or marinades. Herbs really play up the gourmet factor for cheaps. I added dill in mine, and the large bundle I bought from the grocery store that day was P6!!! I also like lots of parsley, basil, cilantro / wansoy, tarragon.
  5. A good vinaigrette. I get tired of vinegar + oil dressings with no thought given to their flavor. Add herbs to your dressing to make it more flavorful. I like thyme with lemon, cilantro with lime. I've tried dill with balsamic vinegar, not a bad combination. Play up the acid! There are so many vinegars out there that isnt' your regular red balsamic. I've tried white balsamic and it's fruitier and less acidic than the red. Kalamansi is great for tropic salads. Mix in some fruit in the dressing such as mango. Adding jam to your dressing also tones done the acidity. Try some ideas here and here.
  6. Wildcard ingredient. Make your salad definitely not boring with toasted nuts, dried fruit, fresh fruit (I love apples, mango, and suha / pommelo in salads), beans (flavored with dressing).
If you're an omnivore / restauranteur and reading this, give your vegetarian friend / customer a break and make her a salad that doesn't suck.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Vegan MoFo is upon us! Vegan friendly relief good items: Vegan MoFo #1

Hey bloggers and readers! Last year I blogged every weekday of October in celebration of Vegan MoFo, or Vegan Month of Food. I had a blast and it really gave me the push I needed to be a frequent blogger.

What's Vegan MoFo, you ask? I quote from The Post Punk Kitchen's website:
"The idea is to write as much as you can for the month of October about vegan food. The blog entries can be about anything food related - your love of tongs, your top secret tofu pressing techniques, the first time your mom cooked vegan for you, vegan options in Timbuktu - you get the idea. There is no strict guideline for how much you have to write, but we shoot for about 20 times a month, or every weekday."

Vegan MoFo is a blog event celebrated around the world in celebration and promotion of vegan food. If you're a local reader, excuse me when I sound like I'm talking to the international community.

I would have loved to start off MoFo #1 with something home-cooked or home-baked but maybe this post will be something completely different from what other Vegan MoFo bloggers would blog about. If you haven't heard the news, my beloved country, the Philippines, was hit by massive Typhoon Ondoy over last weekend, leaving 80% of Metro Manila completely flooded and half a million people displaced. I believe the death toll is 246, according to the Philippine Daily Inquirer. Floods have reached over 10 feet high and they have not receded in some areas. People say that Ondoy is worse than Hurricane Katrina.

The great thing about the Filipino spirit is that we want to help out in any way we can. To be a Filipino in this state of calamity means giving your all for your fellow countrymen. No dependence on the government for us, nosiree (that's a whole different rant). Everyone has and is chipping in -- whether it's through donating relief goods, cash, or time to volunteer at packing centers or evacuation centers. Classes have been called off for the week and even the kids are helping out.

Flood refugees are in immediate need of food, and fast. The usual food care package a refugee and his/her family receive is composed of rice, canned goods (usually sardines, corned beef, and / or luncheon meat), instant noodles, and water. I'm not about to get on my high horse and say they shouldn't be eating meat. When you've lost your home and are struggling to survive and get your life on track, you definitely don't have the luxury of choosing what goes in your mouth.

But if you're someone who wants to donate to disaster victims and would like to give something different, let me enlighten you: give something vegan.
Not only are vegan items more nutritious than their meat counterpart, they give you more bang for your buck.

Here are some food ideas one can donate to a refugee's care package:
  1. Rice -- always a staple grain in Filipino cuisine and something that easily fills you up. White rice is of course more preferable, as it cooks more quickly than the brown or red varieties.
  2. Mongo beans -- this local legume is absolutely cheaper than meat and has a long shelf life. It's a good source of protein and fiber, which canned meat lacks. Best to get cracked mongo beans so they cook quicker. True, dried mongo beans need to be cooked and not all victims have access to cooking utensils, a makeshift stove, and drinking water for that matter. Perhaps soup kitchens that are popping up everyone should consider making mongo guisado over arroz caldo with chicken. Cheaper, more nutritious.
  3. Canned beans -- beans in tomato sauce are usually available in most supermarkets and there are always the kind packed in salted water. True, beans-in-water isn't as tasty as anything floating in sauce, but when you're a refugee, I'd think you'd take whatever you can get. Oh and, these are cheaper than canned meat.
  4. Crackers -- something that also fills you up cheaply. I am partial to the regular Skyflakes kind because it doesn't have milk (their wholewheat is not vegan).
  5. Peanut butter -- who doesn't love peanut butter, aside from those allergic to it? My favorite brand is Lily's because it doesn't contain additional oil and high fructose corn syrup. Made from local peanuts too, so you support local peanut farmers. Peanut butter is a quick source of protein, fat, and fiber, and easily goes with crackers and bread which are cheap. I've actually once eaten rice with peanut butter once, when I didn't have access to more palatable vegan food. Not the worst thing.
  6. Bread -- I like Olsen's over Gardenia because [a] it's cheaper, [b] it's vegan, and [c] it doesn't have an ingredients list that requires you to major in Chemistry.
  7. Soymilk -- I know I know, some brands are pretty expensive, but I love the brand Soyfresh because it's in the same price line as cow's milk. Aside from 1-liter tetra packs, Soyfresh comes in individual-sized drink boxes. Something for the kids, who need as much calcium as they can get.
  8. Sugar -- Most refugee parents would like to get sugar in their care packages because they mix this with water and feed it to their kids. I can't pull up a site right now but I think it's got something to do with dextrose. Or even blood sugar. Not only is brown sugar "healthier" than white, it's cheaper too.
  9. last but not the least... Water.
I hope this post enlightened you.

Hey international readers!
If you'd like to help us out, please visit Google's site on Help for Typhoon Ondoy victims. Scroll down to "credit card / paypal donations" if you'd like to make a monetary donation. Scroll down to "US-based drop off points" if you'd like to make a donation in kind. Sorry, I don't see any other drop off point for other countries. You can check Google's site frequently for updates. What's urgent right now is monetary donations because these will reach us faster.

If you're wandering what's happening to the non-human flood victims, the Philippine Animal Welfare Society is spearheading rescue efforts in Marikina, one of the most devastated cities in the metro. They currently have 16 animal refugees. More information on and pictures of the flood rescues here. Anyone can also drop off their pets in the PAWS Animal Rehabilitation Center here, while he/she attends to his/her survival. If you would like to make a monetary donation, view their instructions here. If you prefer in kind, view instructions here. Find out what they really need here. For the international readers, best to donate money.


Best effort to do a Vegan MoFo post every weekday in October but given that we're in a state of calamity, I'll do my best :)
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